The Crowbar

Upon extensively reviewing his blog at the Atlantic, it seems to me that Andrew Sullivan has mastered the Art of Clamming Up (saying very little). Not that I blame him, your own words are often used against you, so the fewer words you say the less your critics have to criticize. Smart for a man who has to reconcile his meek conservative values with his raging liberal proclivities. Instead, Sullivan makes use Moral Superforce, that smug undertone of moral superiority we’ve all come to expect from many leading liberals. I predict Sullivan will rarely reward me with entertaining headlines for my blog, or it could be that I will just have to work harder to pry the truth of what he thinks from his words. That’s OK, I have a crowbar.

At least that’s what the ever-so-pleasant bloggers over at the DailyKos would have you believe. Seriously. Remember back in February when Jindal did the official Republican response to Obama’s first Really Important speech to the nation? He used the DepressantStimulus bill item “volcano monitoring” as an example of wasteful spending. Obviously volcano monitoring isn’t very stimulating to the US economy, but the minor backlash from Alaskans shows the root of the federal spending problem – that the locals are addicted to Uncle $am’s hordes of cash instead of paying for their own (God forbid) volcano monitoring. BUT, I digress. The DailyKossaks, never shy about beating an undead horse, use their Moral Superforce to berate Jindal about the volcano monitoring thing. Michael Lazzaro concludes that Jindal is a “dumbass” because he prefaced ‘volcano monitoring’ with the phrase ‘something called.’ Typical Kossack Kondescension. Barbara Morrill believes “we shouldn’t be too hard on Jindal, since he apparently didn’t understand what the words “volcano” or “monitoring” meant.” Klassy. Jed Lewison says Republicans “think there’s no point in protecting ourselves against natural threats like volcanoes or hurricanes.” Hmm. I think Republicans also do the same thing they do every night… try to take over the world! Feel the love.