The Crowbar

Upon extensively reviewing his blog at the Atlantic, it seems to me that Andrew Sullivan has mastered the Art of Clamming Up (saying very little). Not that I blame him, your own words are often used against you, so the fewer words you say the less your critics have to criticize. Smart for a man who has to reconcile his meek conservative values with his raging liberal proclivities. Instead, Sullivan makes use Moral Superforce, that smug undertone of moral superiority we’ve all come to expect from many leading liberals. I predict Sullivan will rarely reward me with entertaining headlines for my blog, or it could be that I will just have to work harder to pry the truth of what he thinks from his words. That’s OK, I have a crowbar.

Democratic Underground Blogger Andrew (Political Heretic) frets that we’re “losing America right before our blind eyes.” Andrew is VERY concerned that we don’t  measure up to the “powerhouse countries” of Japan, Germany, United Kingdom, France, Italy, Canada, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Finland, Greece, Ireland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Spain, Sweden, and Switzerland. Powerhouse = Socialist. How don’t we measure up? Here are the Andrew’s selected criteria (apparently from the OECD).

Per Capita Income: U.S. Second (Edit: Rock on USA!) Income Inequality: U.S. First (meaning worst) Overall Poverty Rate: U.S. Highest Child Poverty Rate: U.S. Highest Elderly Poverty Rate: U.S. Highest Infant Mortality Rate: U.S. First (meaning worst) Leisure Time: U.S. Last (meaning worst) Maternity Leave: U.S. Last (meaning worst)

After the Per Capita Income, all the other listed criteria are often cited by the left in an effort to convince us to let them take control of our lives. Because, you see, we Americans can’t handle it, we’re last in all the categories that Really Matter. Oh, and for the record, there is a lot more to the story; don’t take those statistics at face value. Andrew goes on to say:

Shouldn’t this news shock us?  Shouldn’t be reported on every media outlet as the biggest news story around?  BREAKING NEWS: Our country is in serious trouble, and falling behind the rest of the industrialized world! Something must be done.

That “something” would be to hand our lives over to Those Who Know Better, the liberal progressives. Andrew finishes by saying:

To those who find great comfort in shouting “I’m proud to be an American” what exactly are you proud of? Shouldn’t we be embarrassed to death about losing out to the rest of the industrialized world in every single one of these categories?

We should be proud that we are at liberty to make our own decisions without power hungry tyrants (cough: leftists) having their way with us. I’m proud to be an American.

At least that’s what the ever-so-pleasant bloggers over at the DailyKos would have you believe. Seriously. Remember back in February when Jindal did the official Republican response to Obama’s first Really Important speech to the nation? He used the DepressantStimulus bill item “volcano monitoring” as an example of wasteful spending. Obviously volcano monitoring isn’t very stimulating to the US economy, but the minor backlash from Alaskans shows the root of the federal spending problem – that the locals are addicted to Uncle $am’s hordes of cash instead of paying for their own (God forbid) volcano monitoring. BUT, I digress. The DailyKossaks, never shy about beating an undead horse, use their Moral Superforce to berate Jindal about the volcano monitoring thing. Michael Lazzaro concludes that Jindal is a “dumbass” because he prefaced ‘volcano monitoring’ with the phrase ‘something called.’ Typical Kossack Kondescension. Barbara Morrill believes “we shouldn’t be too hard on Jindal, since he apparently didn’t understand what the words “volcano” or “monitoring” meant.” Klassy. Jed Lewison says Republicans “think there’s no point in protecting ourselves against natural threats like volcanoes or hurricanes.” Hmm. I think Republicans also do the same thing they do every night… try to take over the world! Feel the love.